I Think My Job Made Me Nerdier?

Just popping in real quick to muse on something publicly as I am wont to do on my personal blog from time to time. Before taking on the role of Geekery Editor at Autostraddle, I was pretty nerdy. But I was nerdy about what some might have called “cool stuff.” The stuff that, like, makes you money or gives you social capital. Computers, Shakespeare (for NO REASON I still know the opening to Romeo and Juliet). Certainly not video games (video games are cool, I was just never very good at them).

Since becoming Geekery Editor at Autostraddle in…oh gosh, I don’t remember exactly when…I’ve re-fallen in love with board games and discovered that my heart beats for tabletop RPGs. I DM one D&D game and WATCH two others on the internet. I’ve let my fandom flag fly with not just a love for Harry Potter, but the ability to (with my friend Julie) sort all of our writer-friends into Hogwarts Houses. My strange love for pens and inks and art supplies is on full display. And I still love computers and Shakespeare and a whole bunch of other stuff—being a nerd is about an abundance of passion after all. I’m still not very good at video games. But now I engage with the weirdo computer ones and I really like them. I paint miniatures, for goodness sake.

And I can’t tell if it’s because I’m more immersed as I watch the nerdosphere for news that’s relevant to my community. Or if it’s because with each drop of sand into the base of my cosmic hourglass I care less and less about what others think of my quirky obsessions. Or if it’s because I’ve found the other queer women who are not “cool” in that traditional sense. I’ve tried so hard to be one of those amazing effortless homos, and y’all, I am too much a cotton candy cartoon human for it to work. But there are so many queermo nerds I know, now. I don’t feel like I have to forsake time with one community for time with another. Is that it?

All I know for sure is today I received in the mail this rainbow Jenga-adjacent game situation for which to play Dread. It was a legitimate business purchase for a real job that is one of my real jobs. A+ job, would job again. I am so grateful.